Yuku free message boards

Hawker Hurricane wrote:

---

busterggi wrote:

---

Of course the Incas didn't walk to Egypt, they used their reed boats like Heyerdalh.

And the Austrians rode their koalas.

There are koalas in Austria?

Few people know that as settlement for WW1 all Austrian Koalas were captured and transfered to Australia. From there they were weaned off strudel and pine trees and forced to eat Eucalyptus leaves. The Koalas were then forced to listen to the 1920's early recordings of "Neighbours" and spanked if they spoke in German. From here it was a matter of destroying all german and austrian nature books and replacing then with doctored Australian nature books. Some evidence remains. Many Germans are named after Koalas or Klaus for short. Many german aprons still have a middle pocket at the front inspired by german Koala's pouches. In Mein Kampf Adolf Hitler clearly states that the "people from the South" ( obviously Australians) stabbed him in the back, when they took from Gernmany what is rightfully theirs, an obvious reference to Koalas and probably the main cause of WWII. Even today German zoos offer small children a chance to hug a two-ton Brown Bear to remind them of their heritage.

Next week I will explain how German Shepards that became Alsatians are actually a unique kind of lung fish from Jordan that are masters of camouflage that have foolled humans for thousands of years.

The following week I wil explain how Belgium pomme-fritters became French Fries and then became Freedom Fries but are really are an excrement bi-product from the species chesses eatinus Francais sureenderus monkeus that alters a person's brain to forget that the Statue of Liberty is gift from America's friends, the French.

Argy Lacedom wrote:

---

Reading that makes me sad. I know I'd never be able to match it!

Thank god no one asked me to explain the ancient Roman origins of the "Platypus" and their victory at the battle of Actium over Mark Antony. I was hired by HBO for the series "Rome" to provide historic accuracy. The producers were skeptical at first but if you look very carefully at the Actium battle scene you can see Augustus looking at the ground giving orders. The platypus are simply out of shot for artistic reasons. This is the compromise I made with the producers before they had me escorted off the set.......

corwin17 wrote:

---

.... explain to me again how sheep's bladders can be employed to prevent earthquakes.

I think you have this back to front. You are talking about the symbiotic relationship between sheep bladders and earthquakes that have mutually evolved together over millions of years. In essence, a unique DNA strand entered the original ancestor of the sheep about 85 millon years ago. Scientist have extracted ancient DNA from Tyrannasheepus Merinos bones and noticed that, when injected into Bonobo monkeys, it made their urine very slippery.

After US military tests, where Bonobo monkeys, with large water flasks were parachuted onto a Panama parade ground to make General Noriega slip over, real scientists started to take serious notice. Prof Stephen Hawkins was the first to notice that the modified Bobobo urine and sheep urine tasted "quite similar". It was Stephen Gould, in a private unpublished paper, who claimed that his life's goal was near at hand by proving that "less sheep died through earthquakes if they had a higher "slippery urine" DNA content in their DNA gene maps as this allowed earthquakes faults to slip past with less vibration AND this was a clear dynamic evolutionary advantage that is millions of years old".

Today, large groups of American university students, used to American beer, are engaged in a systematic mapping of the strongest sheep urine and comparing to earthquake frequency. Need I point out that Australia has the largest number of sheep, per capita, and has no earthquakes.

I thought this was all common knowledge........